UU R U? WHAT I WILL DO IN HONOR OF TVUUC AND A HERO.

I haven’t posted in a few days.  The honest answer is that a lot has changed for myself and my husband since last week (and that’s actually more than just the dynamics at our church community), and I’m stuck somewhat in the “depression” phase of grief.  We had wanted to be a part of memorializing the good man, Greg McKendry, but somehow are out of the loop in knowing when and where both his wake and his memorial service were.  Just out of the loop.  Why was Greg important to us?   It was the indelible impact he and his wife have had in our lives.  

First of all, Greg and his wife took it upon themselves to offer Financial Peace University at TVUUC.  They were the first people to help me root more into that church community because that was the first “extra curricular or congregational” activity I participated in.  I came to value what they shared with me and my husband, which set us on the right track with our financial present in preparation for a better future.  While I have to constantly recommit, I will never ever forget the asides with Greg and the positive refocuses along the way.  I will also never forget his smile and his presence.  He was a man you looked forward to seeing on a Sunday, and there was comfort that his wife in her beautiful and eclectic sense of style was not far behind.  However, it goes deeper than that for my husband and I.  Greg and his dear wife, were able to give what we couldn’t.  Both of them supported us when we attempted to do what we believed in.  Unfortunately, we faltered and found out we weren’t both as strong and prepared as we once thought we were.  We found out months ago, after a late night call from the kiddo that they were the ones to open their homes and their hearts to a good youth who needs someone who’s able to stay strong, no matter what.  A month or so ago, I was at their home eating lunch with both of them and the kiddo finally feeling at peace with our toughest decisions and their honorable charge to be what the Jim and I could not be.  We both felt that their open home and heart was the BEST fit for the kiddo.  For the first time, the kiddo was able to truly just BE with them, and they had two things that the Jim and I were lacking…age and experience.  Most importantly, they had love.  If that doesn’t make both of them real-life heroes…I don’t know what does.  The Jim and I had decided then, that if they ever needed support…we’d be there.  Unfortunately, in my inbox which gets so many random emails daily, I missed a follow up email.  The Jim and I were asked to continue to be a part of the kiddo’s extended family.   Absolutely.  No question.  However, it extends beyond that.  We are committed to being there in any and every way we can be…most importantly, we will be there when the intensity of these experiences quiet down.  We want our kiddo to know that even though we can’t be there for some of the “big” expressions of solidarity and memory, we will always be here and will reach out with expressions of love and hope to him and his new family.  

We will watch the service today on the news (mostly because I’m not feeling well), and our hearts and thoughts will continue to be with our church community.  WE love you all and you are all now a part of our spirit.  We will carry the concept of community with us…a community committed to doing good, not just talking about it and in light of all of this, that is the best we can do.

In peace, love and hope…always.  Thank you.

IN THE END, LOVE WILL HELP US SURVIVE

The Chalice

The Jim and I have returned from a powerful and meaningful experience with our TVUUC family tonight.  For the first time, in a very long time, I let down my guard and my fears of being hurt and I truly reached out and held others in return.  TVUUC is a place that continues to teach me how to be a loving advocate for hope in this world and to work very hard to find mutual understanding and connection.  There was support there from so many in Knoxville and so many various walks of life and faith…all there…united together.  For anyone who has any misconceptions about UU, let me tell you – I am a Lutheran UU.  I have my masters degree in clinical counseling psychology and pastoral counseling.  I believe there are many paths to the truth and I value everyone’s personal search for that meaning.  NO matter what you may hear in the days to come, know this…we are a community of people who care and love and live in the hope that the world will learn to fully do the same and Greg McKendry is a hero (in more ways that just what you will know and what I am able to express right now).  We are Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Islamic, Agnostic, Scientific and more…and yet, we were there – together – candles lit from one another sharing the hope that in the end, LOVE is what will help us all (all of us in this world), survive whatever horror each day brings.

Work to promote that sense of love.  Breathe it each day of your life.

To my TVUUC family, I love you and thank you for loving me despite myself and thank you…God above for loving me always.   The Jim and I thank you for being here in this community and for being TVUUC.

STILL SENSELESS TRAGEDY AT TVUUC – HOPE NEEDED

Today, all of us who were connected to TVUUC sat in front of our TVs and the internet, waiting for some answers.  Anything that helped make this event seem less random.  We got some word but for me, it still makes this tragedy senseless.  Reportedly, the gunman felt angry at his joblessness status and wanted to make an impact on the “liberal movement”. If you are a member of TVUUC or you have read more about it since this incident, yes, we are a liberal faith meaning we are OPEN to anyone and everyone regardless of race, creed, culture, sexual orientation or prior religious affiliation.  TVUUC is a community of people who welcome all with open doors and do their best to not judge anyone who enters there.  It was my first church community that I even considered after the death of my Mom almost 10 years ago…I was searching for a sense of belonging and spiritual connection, even with my ambiguous faith that surfaced after the loss of someone I loved.  I found it at TVUUC.  While, I never felt like I completely fit in…it was the most sense of belonging I had to a church in a decade.  Some of the biggest choices in my adult life were made with some of the members of that church.  Some choices were beautiful and hopeful, and some choices were hard and heartbreaking.  All along, I had faith that even with some of those difficult choices that the congregation would hold each other up and take care of those who needed it most.  When I walked away (for a while), I did so to allow time for healing.  Now, I cannot even consider NOT going back to help heal with everyone.  I talked to a number of my TVUUC friends last night and for the first time realized that I can change my relationships RIGHT NOW.  I can continue to limp around with past wounds and not engage.  I could just sit and stew, soured by someone’s expression of frustration.  I am angry, but when do we start to use anger for something more than negative.  Now, because something has threatened an institution I believe has only has set out to do things like promote acceptance, peace and unconditional love – I cannot and will not runaway.  I only pray and hope that this tragedy creates a stronger sense of community and reforms bonds of love and acceptance in this country…that’s all I can pray for.  Peace, love and hope…three things that matter most in a time of chaos and hurt.  I pray that everyone will work towards this and turn their pain and anger into something more, something greater and something powerful…for something good.

TVUUC – A PLACE OF PEACE AND LOVE

We sit here.  Stunned and disbelieving.  The tragedy is closer to us than we had previously thought and is devastating.

We can say nothing right now because nothing makes any sense.

We just want people to do 3 things:

1) Please help if you can.

2) Keep the wonderful people and the families of the vicitms deep in our prayers and thoughts.

3) Know that TVUUC is a place of genuine peace and love and work in your lives to increase both of these things in this world.   The world has lost one of those great people who promoted and lived BOTH; a man of true honor and goodness.  Few of us can walk in his shoes, but by God we can sure try.

MY HEART BREAKS FOR TVUUC

Without going into much detail, I have a special relationship past with TVUUC.  I have not returned to the church since April of this year but I often think about the people who attend there and admire their courage and peacefulness.  Today, the Jim and I sit stunned. Apparently another potentially random act of violence has struck what I often saw as a center of solace in East Tennessee.  My heart breaks for the community.  Our love, thoughts, prayers and hope go out to our once church home and family.

I am so so so sorry and saddened by this.  My heart truly breaks for this…I pray that all my former family members are okay.  I don’t know what else to say.  Too much.  Too much.