I’m not sure what to type at this point.  I came home from work to the news.  I had heard about the loss of Farrah Fawcett hours before and felt badly, for her family and for the fact that one of the most notable sex-symbols of my childhood has died.  However, like what a family goes through when a loved one battles a disease for a long time, I felt more peace at her passing knowing that her battle with cancer is over and she can be at rest.  It is sad, but sadly expected.

However, Michael Jackson’s death was quite unexpected.  I haven’t shed a tear, cause I was a fan back during the Thriller days, and a mild fan afterwards for the albums that followed (a few of them at least).  When I was a fan, I was under 10 years old and I found him to be a revelation.  While sadly, the Thriller album sounds very “dated” upon listening to it – you can’t deny how HUGE that album was.  It was GIGANTIC.  People wore sparkley gloves (1 of them), people bought “Beat It” jackets (I had one), and people drank more Pepsi.  He duet-ed (quite fabulously I might add), with Paul McCartney back in the day.  He stunned us with some incredible dances that helped shape dance in the pop-sensibility…I remember watching the Motown 25th anniversary special and seeing that moonwalk…it was awesome to a little girl. He gave a lot of current performers “inspiration”.

Sadly, as his life progressed…the childhood he never really had because he was in the “biz” from such a young age was his primary focus.  His apparent body dismorphic disorder lead him to completely changing his facial structure when frankly I thought he looked his best in his “Off the Wall” and “Thriller” days – I wish he would have stopped there.  His love of children, was probably the most disconcerting because if you were a fan, you wanted to believe the innocence but you always thought that his relationships seemed inappropriate.  He spent money like it was constantly renewable.  He ruined his friendship with Paul McCartney after snatching the Beatles rights from underneath him….etc.  I found myself, with each mention of his name…missing the Michael that seemed so fresh and so free…the Michael who “moonwalked”, who made “zombie dancing” cool, who promised “I’ll be there.”  A talent, worn away by tabloids and torment.

Still, last night after hearing the news, I couldn’t help but reflect on what he did do for us (my generation).  I think my Facebook status captures that thought the best: “Regardless of his personal life…Michael Jackson was a huge talent, he shaped MTV (when MTV was good), he got a lot of us into music when our ideas on music were forming, and made some pretty iconic pop music. “Thriller” is still amazing to me. “Scream”, with his sister was fabulous. Life is short folks, for any and all of us. Sad.”  I also downloaded 4 of his videos that I’ve always loved: “Thriller” (what is probably, in my opinion, the best music video of all time), “Just Leave Me Alone”, “Scream” and “Smooth Criminal”.  It was my personal homage.

In the end, the reason we’re so shocked is because someone who appeared young died suddenly.  Not slowly, like the lovely Ms. Farrah.  Truth is, when it’s our time to leave this earth…you don’t get an extension.  Having lost so many, I know this.  I feel deeply for his family and the knowledge that he was the first of their clan to go.  I feel horribly for his 3 children, as they’ve lost their primary caregiver.  In the end, collectively my generation will mourn, remember, and hopefully focus on some of the positive aspects of this person’s life and career.   Adam Shankman probably said it most poignantly, “Michael, I believe yours and lifes rules were at odds… I pray you finally find peace now.”  I sure hope so.  Rest in peace.