Courtesy Wikipedia

There’s an festering annoyance in my house that comes up every time the Jim discusses avant garde musical instruments and I wanted to state my case right now for two items that I pray will NEVER make their way into our home.  

 

One item is a little number that Please Feed the Monkeys and the Jim located at a past NAMM convention, and is rumored to be residing in our home at this very moment, but I can’t seem to find it.  The nasty item is the ZYDECO TIE.  Look, I’m not a big fan of zydeco or bluegrass (sorry, sorry), but this just seems tacky to me.  I mean, it’s bad enough to bring a washboard on stage with you but to ramp up your fashion sense, you choose to add a metal necktie to your zydeco-wonderment?  Ewww.

The other item is as bad as a piano key necktie, and instills fear deep within me.  I despise the KEYTAR, with all senseless reasoning.  I mean, what better way to show that you’re not as “cool” as the lead guitarist other than to strap-on a keyboard and go to town!  Seriously.  I hate this tech-mod-monster.  Even Justin Timberlake’s really well done concert recently featured it.  Look, I love the 80s, but could we please keep this in the closet?  

I don’t know why I hate these things, but I do and I say this because I’m heading to VIBE salon and they play fabulous music videos…where no doubt the evil Keytar occasionally shows up.  Wish me luck.