WE’LL BE BACK SOON…IN THE MEANTIME

I just wanted to share that I have come to realize and understand that I truly respect and love people who are constantly striving to be something more and better, and yet are very real about their mistakes and imperfections.  The divine can truly be found in imperfectly perfect human beings always trying harder to become more and more authentic people who give more to this world and those they care for.

Here’s an example to keep you busy until the writing begins up again.

Remember…becoming is about learning from every experience you live through and being open to it, and never ever thinking you’re above someone else or worthless.  Be imperfectly perfect and full of wonder and always trying.

We will be back soon…especially me!

I THINK I LIKE THIS BLOKE

I haven’t written because I’m pretty sick.  Seriously.  Really sick.

In the meantime, this guy is apparently hosting the VMAs (which I haven’t watched since I was in my 20s), and I hadn’t really heard of him before his witty clips with the hopefully on the right track Ms. Spears (I love the “elephant in the room” aspect of those clips – genius).  Well, since I saw those, I looked him up and I think I kind of find him somewhat entertaining.  Judge for yourself.

His name is Russell Brand and he’s…quirky.  For some reason, however I still think he’s entertaining.

A FISH-PHOBE’S WORST NIGHTMARE

Most of my friends and family know about…those things.  I mean, I’m not even going to post a picture on here of one of them.  Fish.  Those scaly, jelly-eyed, ugly, slimy, gill breathers are something I fear.  Greatly.  Yes, I don’t like fish.  Without the benefits of hard-core psychoanalysis I think I’ve pinpointed the root of the fear to stem from when I was 4 or so years old and I won a fishing contest (as my Pappy – maternal grandfather – was an avid fisherman), for catching the biggest fish for my age group.  My proud pappy, wanted me to take the fish by the mouth to pose for the picture.  He kept shoving that no-longer-flapping aqua-lover in my face, his thumb and forefinger firmly in it’s mouth trying to get me to do the same.  “Un-NO!”  I think was my horrified reply.  Ever since then, I’m very uncomfortable around the aquatic vertebrates…seriously.  I get nervous walking down the aquarium aisle in a pet store thinking one of those suckers have hopped out of their watery home in a quest for freedom or to commit suicide and I will be just the person to step on their slimy body.  I’m the person who gets anxious in large scale aquariums with the hope that the thick glass won’t break thus freeing all the nemos!  I don’t order fish at restaurants, and get worried when my husband threatens to order crispy whole fish when we eat Asian!  My husband (the JIM), who does go fishing but hasn’t recently, has agreed to clean and gut all fish prior to home entry or at least far from my viewing displeasure.   I freak out when watching what I call, “America’s Funniest Home People” and there are fish jumping out of the water into boats…oh, heck no!  Look, I don’t swim in lakes or rivers or anything I can’t see to the bottom of because inevitably, I will be the person that a fish will take an interest in as they swim on up and attach their sucker-shaped mouth onto my big toe!  Okay, that’s never REALLY happened to me…but now…read THIS!  My concerns stem mostly from my ongoing phobic response and the fact that recently myself and the Lady Dotson have been indulging in great manicure/pedicure combos at Spa Visage.  Rest assured that if this ever, EVER comes to East Tennessee I’m going to have to pay for an isolation booth booking just to get my tooties taken care of.  So please, please don’t follow the kooky spa-tastic trend and keep the fish where they belong…FAR AWAY FROM ME!

LET’S NOT JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS…REALLY

I think I’m trying or at least will continue to make a better effort of trying to be more cognizant of my tendencies to do this on a regular basis.  I find that often enough, I think I know what’s going on, set my mind to that thought and typically (although not all the time), am proved wrong when all the facts surface.  I think that’s what a lot of us do?!  I say this as I read a seemingly trivial story about the media insinuating that Betty White and the remaining live Golden Girls “snubbed” Estelle Getty because they weren’t at her funeral.  Apparently, however, the silver-haired threesome were active and involved in Estelle’s life leading up to her death.  Just because they didn’t attend the funeral is not cause for people assuming that one or all of them did not care or that she wasn’t important in their lives…we just do things that make sense for both ourselves and the people involved.  Our choices are inherently personal and hopefully well thought out.  I mean, most mine are?  While I do also admit to having some true whoppers of stupid choices without much thought.

I guess this thought comes up because, I’ve been reading so many article headlines about celebrities who may/or may not be divorcing, liberals and their radical differences from conservatives, democrats vs. republicans, Christians vs. the rest of the world (at time it seems), whatever…and I find that a lot of times we make both gross generalizations and conclusions based on our need to just ”settle the matter”.  In other words, I think sometimes we struggle with and can’t process ambiguity, so in order to quiet our minds from the rattling caused by a thought that might be contrary to what we want or hope to believe, we put our own biased-stamp on an idea just so we can get peace on an issue that hurts our brains.

I don’t know…it’s up for debate and discourse obviously.  However, it should be noted that conclusions are different than opinions.  You probably should come to a conclusion before stating an opinion, and I do sometimes think it’s good to pause on commentary while you truly decide what your opinion is.  Either way…if truth surfaces or facts come up, let’s do the honorable thing and admit when we’re wrong okay?  It’s okay to admit that you may have been wrong about something. It’s okay to say that after falsely judging something and finding out more about a situation that your opinion on the subject has changed.  It’s okay to let children know to accept responsibility for their conclusions and opinions and to be a quality individual in accepting that we’re all not right 100% of the time.  I hope we all do that for our next generation…I don’t want to jump to conclusions that we’re not.

DO CAPTAIN’S EAT CAPTAIN’S WAFERS?

From Lance.Com

It’s one of those random thought posts.  I just had some for breakfast…and curiosity got the best of me.  Also, I’m upset because I just posted a huge reply to Bloo, Paula and Allison on the Rock-Kids section and it’s no where to be found. (Sigh)

In the meantime…according to Wiki (and I say this because I’m putting a disclaimer on it): “According to David Beard, the director of training at Lance, Inc., the name of the Captain’s Wafers came from the idea that “on a ship, the captains always had the best of everything when it came to meals.” So the name Captain’s Wafers was used to show they were the very best wafers.”  Glad I could contribute to your useless knowledge for today!

NOTE TO ALL: OVERTLY TRITE KNOWS HER LUNCH PLACES

I had the divine pleasure of lunching with the ever hip, Overtly Trite and her doppelganger hoodie (inside joke).  It was a spur of the moment thought, I rang her up and we were off.  Inevitably the question came up as we were on the phone…”Where do you want to eat?”  At the moment, I didn’t care so I had her make a suggestion.  She mentions something that sounds like Flossies?  I have NO IDEA what she’s talking about, so I recommend that I pick her up at the Disc Exchange (side benefit for the music lover in me), and she get me to this so called “good deli restaurant”.  Um…okay, a tad apprehensive, but I’m game.

I arrive to pick her up at the DE and she shepherds me to a little joint called “Frussies”, which is in a little shopping strip called “Moody Complex” (which I laughed at quite heartily since I am both Moody, and have been told I have a complex); on Moody Avenue in South Knoxville.  We pulled up and there were a few tables, a proper deli display and a smiling woman behind the counter.  I was told, “everything is good” to which I realized I’d have to decide between 3 sandwich options: Corned Beef, Grilled Cheese or Egg Salad.  The kind and smiling woman (and co-owner, I believe), made my dilemma a bit easier.  She suggested the Grilled Cheese with a side of Egg Salad.  I added some tomato and bacon, and we had a deal!  

One look around the joint, I realized these people were at least from up north or related to northerners as evidenced by some pictures on the wall.  I was starting to get excited.  The tea is northern style (not sweet – add sweetener of your choice folks).  The food arrived.  It was…in a few words…deliciously simple and extremely memorable!  I happily scarfed down my sandwich and my side of egg salad.  Both were just grand…I loved the egg salad so much, I grabbed an egg salad sandwich for the road, which made a mildly boring mid-afternoon work meeting seem worthwhile.  

We chatted about family, friends, school (both Ms. Trites and her son’s which who knew starts next week), my ever ticking biological clock (growing louder with all my friends who are having babies lately), and the reality that I still like Anthony Bourdain even if he doesn’t like fat people.  Ask me about that if you want to know…  We dined, I returned her back to the Disc Exchange (picking up 2 discs for me and a few items for the kiddo that I couldn’t resist).  It was a nice mid-day departure from the mundane, and all I know is that I’m figuring out who’s a real foodie amongst my friends.  If Overtly Trite suggests a place to eat – DEFINITELY give it a try, she knows what she’s talking about.  Oh, and if you’re over in South Knoxville, I highly suggest you try Frussies Deli and Sandwich Shop…from the nice owners, to the fresh bread – you will be a happy camper!

KIDS OF RETRO-MUSIC-HEROES (AKA STANDING IN THE SHADOWS OF GIANTS)

Lately, I’ve been trolling around finding out about famous retro-music-heroes offspring.  For some reason, the idea of growing up in the shadow of a larger than life musician seems interesting and it’s funny to note that a lot of the children I’ve found have followed a similar musical path…on a much smaller scale of course. It’s also amazing to see how much of a resemblance exists. I’ve included links for you to find out more but these are some of the interesting ones I’ve found so far (and I’ve only picked ones who are following a musical path):

1 ) Dhani Harrison (Son of George and Olivia Harrison)

2 ) Sean Ono Lennon (Son of John Lennon and Yoko Ono)

3 ) Julian Lennon (Son of John Lennon and Cynthia Powell)

4 ) Zak Starkey (Son of Ringo Starr and Maureen Cox)

5 ) James McCartney (Son of Paul and Linda McCartney)

6 ) Rolan Bolan (Son of Marc Bolan and Gloria Jones)

7 ) Simon Collins (Son of Phil Collins and Andrea Bertorelli)

8 ) Melanie Gabriel (Daughter of Peter Gabriel and his first wife Jill)

It’s always interesting to consider that there are other people who live life in such a large shadow and have to find their own way outside of the large footsteps left by our parents.  I think at times, we all have to deal with the realities of being someone’s child…no matter who they are and what impact they’ve had on this world. Speaking for myself, my mother left a huge imprint that I both emulate and shy away from all at the same time.  

Sorry for the aside frequent readers, but the changes in life really do get you thinking about more existential stuff.  In the meantime, enjoy…and if you find an interesting offspring link to share – PLEASE DO!

CH…CH…CH…CH…CHANGES.

In the midst of the situation at our church, other changes have been happening around the house of the Retro-moderns.  I think that the general litany of changes is what’s giving me some residual blues. Lots of change in a short amount of time is exhausting and requires a good portion of adjustment.  Here’s a recap for anyone who doesn’t know what’s been goin’ on in our neck of the sidewalk.

1) Finally, flood repairs are almost completed.  The repairs to the house started last week thanks to State Farm’s program of we’ll get you a contractor and we’ll assure they’ll get the job done.  So far, so good.  The tile in the kitchen has been replaced with new glossy faux black marble (which Easton, our golden-labointer pup is afraid of because he doesn’t like “shiny” floors).  We were going to go white with black design on the kitchen floor originally to lighten up the place but in all honesty the floor now matches the original and makes us feel still true to the house’s retro feel.  They also had to replace the ceiling (entirely) in the downstairs rec room and it looks really nice.  Today comes the new carpet and new couch.  By this time next week, it will have a women’s touch and our lives (at least in our home space), will return to normalcy…what ever that is.

2) They offered, and I accepted.  After a lot of agonizing thought, I have decided to leave my current job (which I care deeply for), for some new opportunities in my original field of study.  It’s a great chance for me to get in on the lower-floors of an expanding company/service at a starting salary higher than my present. In this economy, that’s hard to pass up.  The truth is, while I’m excited about the new ventures (to commence September 2nd), I am going to truly miss what I’m leaving behind at my current job.  Being a project manager allowed me to finally take ownership of a program and shape it.  It became my “baby”, and I think, looking back, I really did okay with it (it’s hard for me to self-compliment so bear with me).  I’ve had a stellar supervisor and I truly love my co-workers/colleagues.  So, for the first time for me, a new and better opportunity is accepted with a hint of bittersweet.  Ah well.  On the plus side, we’ve been forever changed by my experiences in this job.  We’ll continue to be respite foster parents.  I’ll continue to be teaching PATH classes as a foster-parent trainer.  We’re stepping up on our mentoring role for our “kiddo”.  So, if anyone thinks we haven’t been impacted by the power of my work, they’re wrong.  However, when you’re me…and you’ve spent your whole life shaping your self worth around your career (due to lack of creating a family – which by golly, we need to start moving on), not being begged to stay makes you feel like your worth hasn’t been appreciated.  I know that’s probably my blues speaking, but hey…I gotta say what I’m feelin’.

So with those two big shifts in perception, along with the jolt at our dear TVUUC it’s been a week of transition.  Inevitably, change is a part of life and with it we still experience the range of emotions that accompany any loss and gain.  I’m looking forward to being able to appreciate that silver lining sometime soon.  Perhaps a little Bowie will help.

Here’s to the future!

UU R U? WHAT I WILL DO IN HONOR OF TVUUC AND A HERO.

I haven’t posted in a few days.  The honest answer is that a lot has changed for myself and my husband since last week (and that’s actually more than just the dynamics at our church community), and I’m stuck somewhat in the “depression” phase of grief.  We had wanted to be a part of memorializing the good man, Greg McKendry, but somehow are out of the loop in knowing when and where both his wake and his memorial service were.  Just out of the loop.  Why was Greg important to us?   It was the indelible impact he and his wife have had in our lives.  

First of all, Greg and his wife took it upon themselves to offer Financial Peace University at TVUUC.  They were the first people to help me root more into that church community because that was the first “extra curricular or congregational” activity I participated in.  I came to value what they shared with me and my husband, which set us on the right track with our financial present in preparation for a better future.  While I have to constantly recommit, I will never ever forget the asides with Greg and the positive refocuses along the way.  I will also never forget his smile and his presence.  He was a man you looked forward to seeing on a Sunday, and there was comfort that his wife in her beautiful and eclectic sense of style was not far behind.  However, it goes deeper than that for my husband and I.  Greg and his dear wife, were able to give what we couldn’t.  Both of them supported us when we attempted to do what we believed in.  Unfortunately, we faltered and found out we weren’t both as strong and prepared as we once thought we were.  We found out months ago, after a late night call from the kiddo that they were the ones to open their homes and their hearts to a good youth who needs someone who’s able to stay strong, no matter what.  A month or so ago, I was at their home eating lunch with both of them and the kiddo finally feeling at peace with our toughest decisions and their honorable charge to be what the Jim and I could not be.  We both felt that their open home and heart was the BEST fit for the kiddo.  For the first time, the kiddo was able to truly just BE with them, and they had two things that the Jim and I were lacking…age and experience.  Most importantly, they had love.  If that doesn’t make both of them real-life heroes…I don’t know what does.  The Jim and I had decided then, that if they ever needed support…we’d be there.  Unfortunately, in my inbox which gets so many random emails daily, I missed a follow up email.  The Jim and I were asked to continue to be a part of the kiddo’s extended family.   Absolutely.  No question.  However, it extends beyond that.  We are committed to being there in any and every way we can be…most importantly, we will be there when the intensity of these experiences quiet down.  We want our kiddo to know that even though we can’t be there for some of the “big” expressions of solidarity and memory, we will always be here and will reach out with expressions of love and hope to him and his new family.  

We will watch the service today on the news (mostly because I’m not feeling well), and our hearts and thoughts will continue to be with our church community.  WE love you all and you are all now a part of our spirit.  We will carry the concept of community with us…a community committed to doing good, not just talking about it and in light of all of this, that is the best we can do.

In peace, love and hope…always.  Thank you.